Hot Dog Stand

I hate my job so much I’m pretty much applying to anything I am remotely qualified for.

So yesterday I had an interview at a hot dog stand. It was a very hot day and the stand didn’t have an umbrella. The owner said he was trying to work out a deal with Pepsi to get a free umbrella for the condiments which had no shade or ice. *barf* Until this major deal with Pepsi was sealed he suggested the condiments could just be moved under a tree. The tree is growing up from a downtown sidewalk that I am going to guess has been peed on by hundreds of dogs and barfed on by hundreds of college students and he just wanted the condiments plopped down  there.

grossedout

 

Than he said the job would pay less than minimum wage, ( did not specify how much less), but hey the tips would make up for that.  Also I would be working under the table, which he said was better for me.  So when the propane tank blows up or I spill hot grease on me or get stabbed for sweaty hotdog money I can say it’s my hobby to cook street meat no workers comp needed ..?

On top of all that awesome I would probably get a really nice sweaty hotdog shine and smell that would never come out. Mmmm hotdog musk who wouldn’t want to cuddle with that!

Oh and if it got hot I could have a freezie!

The scary part is for a brief moment I actually considered it just to get away from the headset.

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